I know I'm supposed to be blogging daily, but obviously that isn't happening. Let's talk about why that is.

Aside from school, work, babies, pregnancy, husband, etc... I've got a little boy who won't sleep. He turned one, and then decided that sleep was for BABIES, and as he wasn't a BABY, he wouldn't sleep. Period.

So.

I'm exhausted. And in the middle of the night, when there's a toddler jumping on your head and pulling your hair in an effort to wake you up to play (and laughing hysterically about it, I might add), it's really really hard not to lose your cool.

And I admit, the first night, I totally did. I had my very first moment as a parent where, somewhere around 3am, and with nary a moment of sleep, I had to bring him back to his crib, put him in, and walk away... lest something awful should happen. I have never had one of those moments before as a parent, and I didn't like that colour on me.

So last night when we had a repeat of the whole 'sleep protest' scene, I breathed. I hugged. I rocked. I played. Sure, somewhere around hour 3 I had some moments of anger, and at one point I woke up M to say 'you do it. I quit. I'm tired. YOU'RE IT.' But they were short lived. I kept repeating over and over in my head the advice of Jon and Myla Kabat-Zin in their book Everyday Blessings: be empathic. Put yourself in your child's place. They are not being 'bad' and it isn't THEIR behaviour that is the problem, its your understanding of it.

That's not to say that kids should behave however they want. Oh no. But in this case, my son was genuinely not tired. If he was an adult, he'd get up, maybe read a book, watch some tv, make a snack... but he can't. He's a baby. He relies on me. And so is it fair of me to tell him to change his feelings because they're inconvenient for me? No. I have no right to demand that he be sleepy if he isn't.

And so, I got up with him. Rather grumpily, and sort of stomped down the stairs, but we got up. And we played. He thought the grumpy and the stomping was HILARIOUS, let me tell you (which is even more infuriating at 3am....). But we played.

And then my wonderful husband came downstairs and relieved me, so that I could get some sleep. He did eventually get our son to sleep, and we all went back to bed.

The point of all this? Kids will provide nights of zero sleep. And that's ok. It's what they do. Just make sure you have a supportive partner who's sleep needs are less than your own, and you're aces. :)